I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
