I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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