ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
