Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize