We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
