I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
