Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
