Who wears a wallet chain?!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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