Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
from now on my penis is your penis
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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