lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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