he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
NoShamevember. You game?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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