lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
