marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
