dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
