Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
