i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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