thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
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i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She needs sedatives and a leash
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Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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