she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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