He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My vagina just recognized that song.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The air taste purple.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
