i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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