She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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