i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize