I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I think I died a long time ago.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
