YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
