im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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