I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
