Texts From Last Night

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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.

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  (715): Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again. http://tfl.nu/2g9l
  Replies (28) Good night (1217) Bad night (3967)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.

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  (214): we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER. http://tfl.nu/9rv5
  Replies (58) Good night (12817) Bad night (1155)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."

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  (337): And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active." http://tfl.nu/o68j
  Replies (77) Good night (873) Bad night (16118)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.

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  (856): He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college. http://tfl.nu/khqs
  Replies (6) Good night (1017) Bad night (5889)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.

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  (773): Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat. http://tfl.nu/qnu6
  Replies (31) Good night (4474) Bad night (5348)
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  (925): View more from California

  Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.

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  (925): Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you. http://tfl.nu/15wm
  Replies (19) Good night (6500) Bad night (1146)
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  (718): View more from New York

  My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.

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  (718): My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life. http://tfl.nu/zkml
  Replies (6) Good night (865) Bad night (1380)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.

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  (703): I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet. http://tfl.nu/knpf
  Replies (2) Good night (1616) Bad night (577)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable

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  (810): Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable http://tfl.nu/3me5
  Replies (7) Good night (3257) Bad night (652)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.

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  (803): I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT. http://tfl.nu/pk4z
  Replies (4) Good night (1497) Bad night (555)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.

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  (843): I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture. http://tfl.nu/qb04
  Replies (3) Good night (945) Bad night (398)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Thats for me to know and you to find out.

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  (519): Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning (416): Thats for me to know and you to find out. http://tfl.nu/ors0
  Replies (1) Good night (1223) Bad night (472)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.

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  (203): You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you. http://tfl.nu/720l
  Replies (9) Good night (1457) Bad night (929)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.

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  (614): I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/so3i
  Replies (4) Good night (423) Bad night (388)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK

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  (432): GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK http://tfl.nu/gkbk
  Replies (1) Good night (429) Bad night (310)

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