thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap