After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.