Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
