She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
