It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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