Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice

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(618): View more from Illinois

It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(973): View more from New Jersey

Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests

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(270): View more from Kentucky

they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.

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(805): View more from California

found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.

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(210): View more from Texas

I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.

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(431): View more from

My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets

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