I think i peed on brittanys purse
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.