apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
