i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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