Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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