Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
