i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
