There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
