best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
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He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
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I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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