I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
