but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just want nice things and good sex
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
