69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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