David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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