I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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