i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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