I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
