just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
