false alarm. still invincible.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize