she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Panties = found
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize