I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
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I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
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Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
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