in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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