Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
