i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
