Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
