Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
