so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
