dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
