there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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