if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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