So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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