I think I am morally bankrupt
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
