My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
