Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
