And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
