I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
