She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
