Just cropdusted the office
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
either way he was missing a nipple.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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