I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize