My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
