I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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