The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I understand Curling. That high.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
